Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I feel so bad

but I know I did the right thing. I had to do it for me and my family. I had to call my son and tell him that he could not come to the family Christmas celebration tonight. When Amy and her family were in town the early part of December, and he came out, he was so messed up that Amy was afraid for him to hold the girls for fear he might drop one accidentally. Beth didn't want Abby around him and frankly I didn't want to be around him. I had to make the single most difficult decision in my life, to call my only son and tell him that he would not be able to come.

I have never been apart from him on Christmas before. But then, I never had spend Thanksgiving away from him and I did this year. That was because he didn't call us until 1:45pm the afternoon of Thanksgiving though.

I told Ryan that I was afraid that he would come to the house and pop a bunch of pills and that I didn't want his sister around it and I damned sure didn't want Abby around it.

But why do I feel so badly? It was his choice to take pills last time and it is his choice to continue to take them. I had to do what I had to do for my family.

Please pray for my baby.

7 comments:

Patty said...

Sending out prayers for your family and your son. You did what you had to do, we all make choices. God bless you this Christmas, TB.

fernvalley01 said...

So sorry to hear that, I guess loving him might mean letting him go a little . Hugs and prayers to you

MichelleSG said...

Oh honey I am so sorry that you feel bad. You know you shouldn't but it doesn't help any right? You did the best thing you could do for your family. Look at it this way, if your son feels bitter or hurt by it then maybe it will bring him closer to coming to terms with his drug problems. You never know, there could be a silver lining to that cloud. Much love to your family this holiday.
~M

dAAve said...

I think you did the right thing. Be proud of yourself.

Syd said...

You did what you thought was the best for all concerned. That takes a lot of courage. It might have sent him the right message though if he's willing to listen.

Lou said...

Don't give up hope, TB.

Mary Christine said...

I am so sorry, that is so very heart breaking. It could be the thing that makes him realize... or not. It is just what you have to do to take care of yourself and your family for today. You are in my prayers.