Thursday, February 28, 2008
I owned a boxer by the name of Jack who had passed away in 1993. I wanted to wait until my daughter was older before getting another dog. I mentioned it to my husband being sure to tell him that the dog had to live inside and not outside. He just was not going to have that, "dogs belong outside", he would say. I tried to explain to him that for me, a dog is a part of the family and is not to live outside. I wanted my dog to live inside with me and the rest of the family.
Just when I tought I had lost that battle he mentioned it again and I told him that if I couldn't have my boxer inside I didn't want one. Apparently that was all I had to say because within 2 weeks we were off to look at a litter of pups. In my mind I planned on picking out a male but when we saw the litter there was one little girl that stood out to both of us.
Here she is all grown up and spoiled rotten. And get this.......my husband doesn't know what he would do without this dog. Isn't it funny how you can not know what you want until you get it, and then it is really really good.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I have considered this as I shovel manure, fill water barrels in the cold rain, wait for the vet/farrier/electrician/hay delivery, change a tire on a horse trailer by the side of the freeway, or cool a gelding out before getting down to the business of drinking a cold beer after a long ride.
The time, the money, the effort it takes to ride calls for dedication. At least I call it dedication. Both my ex-husbands call it 'the sickness'. It's a sickness I've had since I was a small girl bouncing my model horses and dreaming of the day I would ride a real horse. Most of the women I ride with understand the meaning of 'the sickness'. It's not a sport. It's not a hobby. It's what we do and, in some ways, who we are as women and human beings.
I ride. I hook up my trailer and load my gelding. I haul to some trailhead somewhere, unload, saddle, whistle up my dog and I ride. I breathe in the air, watch the sunlight filter through the trees and savor the movement of my horse.
My shoulders relax. A smile rides my sunscreen smeared face. I pull my ball cap down and let the real world fade into the tracks my horse leaves in the dust.
Time slows, flying insects buzz loudly, looking like fairies. My gelding flicks his ears and moves down the trail. I can smell his sweat and it is perfume to my senses. Time slows. The rhythm of the walk and the movement of the leaves become my focus. My saddle creaks and the leather rein in my hand softens with the warmth. I consider the simple statement; I ride. I think of all I do because I ride. Climb granite slabs, wade into a freezing lake, race a friend through the fields all the while laughing and feeling my heart in my chest.
Other days just the act of mounting and dismounting can be a real accomplishment. Still I ride, no matter how tired or how much my seat bones or any of the numerous horse related injuries hurt. I ride. And I feel better for doing so.
The beauty I've seen because I ride amazes me. I've ridden out to find lakes that remain for the most part, unseen. Caves, dark and cold beside rivers full and rolling are the scenes I see in my dreams. The Granite Stairway at Echo Summit, bald eagles on the wing and bobcats on the prowl add to the empowerment and joy in my heart. I think of the people, mostly women, I've met. I consider how competent they all are. Not a weenie amongst the bunch. We haul 40ft rigs, we back into tight spaces without clipping a tree. We set up camp. Tend the horses. We cook and keep safe. We understand and love our companions, the horse. We respect each other and those we encounter on the trail. We know that if you are out there riding, you also shovel, fill, wait and doctor. Your hands are a little rough and you travel without makeup or hair gel. You do without to afford the 'sickness' and probably, when you were a small girl, you bounced a model horse while you dreamed of riding a real one.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I am very grateful to have the two horses and to have a husband that puts up with our (my daughter and myself) crazy horse loving behavior. He fenced in 3 pastures even though he had never put any fencing up at all. He also built a small barn with a stall. He worked long and hard to get it erected. She and I helped, if you want to call it that, but he did the majority of the work and many days it was hot hot hot. We get really high humidity in western Kentucky but he stuck with it until it was complete. He did all of this while being completely afraid of horses. He was thrown as a small child and never got back on, which happens from time to time. Over the past 3 years since we have had the horses he has slowly gotten past a lot of his fear, but he still has the respect of them.
He has also hauled hay, made arrangements for hay to be delivered and/or stacked the square bales himself. He has packed 50lbs bags of grain from the truck to the barn. He has fed the horses more times that I can count especially during the winter because he is retired and my daughter and I don't get home until just about dark.
He has played a huge part in my lifelong dream of having a horse again. For that I will always be grateful to him. His name is Joe and I love him dearly.
My boss is also a very good friend of mine. I have known him since 1989 when I moved back home from Houston. Just about 2 years ago he called me and asked me if I wanted a job. How neat is that? In fact, oddly enough the past 3 jobs I have had I did not go looking for them, they found me. That makes me smile. Just another item to include in my gratitude.
Oh, I also can wear jeans, tee-shirts and steel toed boots. Doesn't get better than that. Sorry So, I still am not a lesbian.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Now isn't that just a silly thing to think? But in a 5 or 6 year old mind that was what I thought. I don't remember ever telling anyone about my thoughts although I'm sure I must have mentioned it to dad at some point and he probably explained to me that they are just actors you silly little spoiled rotten doll of mine.
Childhood thoughts. What an interesting thing. Last night my son and his girlfriend were over along with her 18 month old little boy, Trevor. I watched him closely and wondered what in the world could be going through his head. I guess we'll never know. Hell, we can't even remember what we thought at that age.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
We referred to the apartment as the "Columns Disco" since it was, after all, in the late 70's and disco was everywhere. As I write this I remember the Oscar parties that we held. We invited all of our friends, made lots of food, had tv's anywhere we could find them, provided hats for everyone and there was plenty of booze. Emphasis on the latter. I only remember having two Oscar parties but there could have been more. I stayed pretty, well shall we say, I enjoyed the weeds that grew somewhere in neverneverland. It was all in good fun though, we didn't hurt anyone, we showed love to our friends and we always made sure there was enough non-acholol drinks available.
I wonder now how many Oscar parties are being held right now, at this very moment. I wonder if the people really care about each other, if they make sure that everyone is ok to drive home. I wonder how many people might not make it home tonight for whatever reason. None of us know when our time is up, when He had decided it is our last day.
It is my hope, of course, that I have many more days and years ahead but one never knows. It can not be taken for granted that tomorrow will come. That is why I love to live my life as I have for the past few months. To live life with gratitude. To be thankful for today, for my family and for everything that God has blessed me with.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
My brother moved to Houston in 1977. I soon followed him after I moved to Chicago for 6 months. I thought I had found the love of my life in Chicago but he ended up cheating on me. Idiot. Anyway, I move to Houston in October of 1977 and never looked back. I moved in with my brother and his roommate "Face". Face had a really bad habit of playing David Bowie really early in the morning when So and I were trying to sleep. So and I shared a bed since there was no where else for me to sleep.
I got a job at the Galleria Plaza Hotel in the security department as a "timekeeper". What a strange name for a position, don't ya think? Anyway, I worked the evening shift, 3pm to 11pm. I was able to walk to work since our apartment was across the street from the Galleria. My vehicle was still in Kentucky so it was important to be able to get to work easily. I met a great guy there by the name of Mark. He worked in the housekeeping department. We started spending a lot of time together at work and after work. Mind you he was gay and I knew this and was perfectly fine with it since I adored gay people, still do as a matter of fact. We would get off of work, go home and get dolled up then go out dancing at all the local gay bars in Houston and have an absolute ball.
The three years I spent in Houston as a 19 yr old, single woman with the world at her hands was priceless. I would go out with Mark or Shane (another cutie friend of Mark's that was an absolute doll) but my brother would always make sure I had a $10 bill in my back pocket, just in case I needed it. I can remember giving him that $10 bill back many times but it always felt good to have it there, just in case. I was fortunate to never have to use it. You see, that was just another way that my precious brother took care of me. There are many memories I have of those times and many of them I will write about because they just have to be shared! Believe me, they are good. But I will save them for another time.
- to be grateful
- how to treat other people
- to not hang out of my car at 19 and threaten someone that cut me off in traffic
- to be a lady
- to be unselfish
- to be humble
One of the most recent things I have learned from him is how to live life with gratitude. How to trust in God because He controls all things. I have learned to pray for His will, not my own. To be thankful for what myself and my family have been blessed with. To live a life of gratitude is very rewarding. It just makes everything easier. Maybe you will give it a try, trust me, it's worth it.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
She had just been laid off from her job that day. She was upset and called me to tell me about it. She got a bum deal and was going to fight it but she never got the chance. She wasn't feeling well so she went home to take a nap. I called her about noon that day and woke her up. I told her I was just checking on her and to go back to sleep. She made dinner that evening for herself and her husband. For reasons unknown to anyone she decided to run into town for something. Dinner was ready and waiting at home, but she never made it home. Somehow she lost control of her Camry and ended up going off the side of the road down a fairly steep embankment and was thrown from the vehicle. Her equine vet's wife happened to be right behind her and came to her side. She was awake and knew what was going on. I think that is the hardest part to swallow. She didn't die a quick death, it was a long and painful one. She was airlifted to Vanderbilt in Nashville but she didnt make it.
I didn't know any of this had even occurred until I called that evening to check on her. Her husband answered the phone and said that Mary had been in a bad car accident and wasn't expected to make it and he had to go. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do or think. I told my husband, then my daughter overheard me. She got very upset as was I. The only think I could think to do was to call her brother in law. He didn't know anything yet but said he would let me know. When I finally went to bed that night I prayed and prayed for my Mary. I prayed that the Lord would let her live, but I also prayed for His will to be done because I knew in my heart that He had already decided her fate.
I went to work the next day and told my coworkers what had happened. The phone rang and it was my daughter. She was at school and someone had told her that Mary had not made it. She could barely get the words out she was so upset. I told her Dad would be there to pick her up and everything would be ok. I then called my husband to tell him so he would pick Steph up from school. I then called Mary's brother in law to confirm the facts. It was true. She had not made it. She was gone. That was when I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. My husband came to pick me up from work and the next few days were pretty much a blur.
My daughter and I visit her grave from time to time just to talk and see her. Her family put a nice monument with a horse and a dog etched on it. It is nice as far as monuments go. It gets easier as time goes on but every single time I mount a horse I think of Mary. I wonder what we would have done together. What fields and trails we would travel. How many caves we might discover in Illinois where we planned so many rides last summer. I know she is there with me and Stephanie in spirit and I also know that she is in Heaven and knowing Mary she is riding the most beautiful stallion God ever made.
Rest In Peace My Mary
decided if I am going to drive the 20 miles into work yet. My boss said to do what I wanted to. It's so nice to have a boss that is also your friend.
In my hometown we have the worst possible local news station. Most of the anchors are really bad and in my opinion all of the reporters are horrible. It used to be somewhat of a decent station but no more. I really don't know why I even mentioned any of the above. I guess it's because I get tired of watching idiots making so many mistakes.
I decided to not brave the icy conditions and stayed home today. My daughter and I watched a movie, She's The Man, which oddly enough I enjoyed. It is a teenage movie and I usually don't like them but it's the least I can do and it makes her happy. She and I have a fantastic relationship. I consider myself really lucky for that but it doesn't just happen, I work at it. See, I still remember what it was like to be a teenager, how hard it was at school, boys, parents, everything that comes with adolescence. I remember that when I parent my daughter. It seems to be working too. As a matter of fact she just told me, literally, that I am her best friend. She didn't even know what I was writing about either. That makes me smile. I told her I am her Momma first but her best friend second. She agreed. Wow, life is good.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
It must have been after the Copperhead ordeal but I really don't remember. I wish I had a memory like my brother. It seems the older I get the worse my memory gets, not that it was that good to begin with.
Did any of you guys have weird phobias when you were kids, or maybe you still have them!
One memory though isn't so good. I was 5 years old and at that time I was scared of the water probably because my older cousin Tish, used to dunk me and I hated it. All of the adults were sitting on the bank in their "pinch their ass" folding chairs watching the kids frolic in the water while I was on the bank just playing by myself. I decided to pretend that I was crippled and found a stick to use as a cane. There was a tree that had fallen some time before close to where I was playing. I walked over to that fallen tree all the while using the "cane" for help since I was so disabled. All of a sudden I felt something bite me. I used the cane to stumble over to where the adults were. Mother came to my rescue and Dad screamed for my Uncle Jim to "kill it kill it". It was a Copperhead. Not just any copperhead, a baby copperhead that come to find out has more venom than an adult, at least according to Dad. Uncle Jim killed the snake and scooped me up (or Dad might have scooped me up I don't know because I was only 5).
Dad and Uncle Jim put me in the car and sped off to the local doctor for shots. Poor Mother was left behind. I can only imagine the fear that she experienced. At the dr's office I got shots in the butt and who knows where else. I just remember the butt shots and also that I got some suckers. That was special because we rarely got to have candy. I was sick for several days if not weeks but I did survive (obviously) but I do not like snakes to this day.
P.S. As you can see from the comment from my brother he was old enough to remember the details unlike my 5 year old mind did. Actually his version was much more dramatic than mine so thanks So!!!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Apparently I must have thought the entire thing was really true because some time after watching it I started having a recurring dream about the Abominable Snowman. In the dream myself and many of the neighborhood kids would be running and playing in our woods, the very woods that housed my LuckyPony. All of a sudden he was there, the dreaded Abominable Snowman but the weird thing was that he didn't want any of the other kids, he only wanted me. I would run and run and was never caught by him. I guess that has some deep meaning about me as a kid and such but I surely don't know what it could have meant. I just know that I had it many times as a kid and it was the exact same dream. Thank goodness I have long since outgrown the dream. But I must admit it did disturb me as a small child.
Who else has had weird dreams? Let me hear from you.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Trust me, once I get over showing off my family to the blog world this post will get more interesting!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
We had a nice house and seemed to never want for anything. Dad was bad about spoiling us when it came to Christmastime and bought all kinds of toys for us. I can remember us having an "area" for our Santa gifts. This would embarass Mother and she would have us put some of them up before any of the neighrbood kids could come over. She grew up very modest and felt the other kids would see us as "spoiled". We were of course so what's the point, but that was how Mother was.
All in all I know that we were very lucky to have what we had. There were so many kids in that era that received little or nothing for Christmas. In fact there still are. I have very fond memories of those times and I will be sharing them on this post in the coming weeks.
One memory that sticks out like a sore thumb was of me being a complete idiot. We had a basement which served as our family room. It was where the family would gather to watch tv. It was also where Dad and I watched Rawhide! We had a huge circular rug from Sears in front of the tv and that was my race track. I would get down on all fours and pretend to be a horse and run around the outside "track" of the rug and neigh like a horse. Mike and Scott would laugh at me but I didn't care because in my 7 yr old mind I was on a race track. Mother used to get on to them for laughing but they of course would continue when she was out of earshot. Brothers!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I rode LuckyPony most every day, sometimes around the neighborhood and sometimes within our woods. There were lots of neat trails and it entertained me for hours on end. My dad and I watched Rawhide every week cause we both liked westerns a lot. I decided to do my own version of Rawhide starring me of course as Gil Favor, the trail boss. I would "round up" the goats in a feeble attempt to do what Gil did on the series. Needless to say the goats did NOT cooperate at all. They pretty much looked at me like I was crazy, but did on occasion move when I got too close.
Before I started my herding of the goats I would sit in the saddle atop my shetland pony and say, actually say outloud "Lisa W......, Trail Boss" and turn myself in the saddle like Gil Favor did at the start of my beloved western series. My 2 brothers quickly learned of my silly antics and dubbed me "Trailboss". It has stuck with me to this day. But that's ok cause I can easily laugh at myself. In fact I kinda like it, it's a fond memory of how I used to entertain myself.
So, just in case anyone was wondering where that name came from, now you know!
Friday, February 15, 2008
I am hoping to have my grandbaby this weekend. She is almost 3 yrs old and I am totally in love with her. She can do no wrong in my eyes. It is true what they say (who is "they" anyway) about grandkids, there is a special love that emerges when you have them. It is a love like no other I have ever felt in my life. She loves to come to our house and never wants to stay inside. You'd think that she would like to watch tv or play a game but no, she wants to go and see the horses or go outside and blow bubbles, anything to be outside. I think this is really neat. Kids spend too much time inside these days anyway.
I hope that you enjoy your TGIF as much as I will.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
It is hard to be Mom 24/7. If anyone has an answer to how that really works please share with me!
I have 2 wonderful stepdaughters, but we do not refer to anyone in the family as being "step" unless absolutely necessary and so far I have not found a reason to refer to them in that way.
Today is Valentine's Day and I stopped by my grandbaby's house to give her a stuffed animal, some M&M's which are her favorites, and a card that she, of course, won't give a hoot about! She in turn gave me, Joe (my hubby) and Stephanie (her Aunt) Valentine cards. They are so precious. I will keep mine forever!
I had big dreams of some day owning lots and lots of horses but really didn't think it would ever happen. Then one day when I was about 6 years old my Dad came home with a pony. A woman that worked in his dental office's daughter had won the pony in a raffle but they had no place to keep him. They were keeping him in their garage which, didn't work well. He was constantly getting out and the kids would have to go and round him up. Needless to say she was happy to barter services with my dad (he was a dentist) for dental work for her kids for the pony. The kids had named him Lucky because they felt they were lucky to have won him (apparently he was named before they had to catch him every day). I kept the name of Lucky and soon settled into calling him LuckyPony. He was a very special pony. He was a Shetland gelding, chestnut with a flaxen mane and tail, and he was perfect for me and I was perfect for him.
I quickly learned how to bridle and saddle him and before you could blink your eyes I was riding him. I guess I just taught myself because I don't ever remember not knowing how to ride a horse. We went everywhere together. While most of the neighborhood kids rode their bikes or walked to get to their destination I rode LuckyPony. Everyone in the neighborhood knew who he was and when I would go to visit a friend I would just tie him in the yard and all was well. He was truly my best friend.