Thursday, February 21, 2008

In Memory of Mary Byrd

A year ago tomorrow my best friend was tragically killed in a traffic accident. She and I had only been friends for about 2 years but we were very close. It is hard for me to be good friends with women for some reason but with Mary we just hit if off. We both shared a deep love of horses and the outdoors. We went on several trail rides together. We shared so much with each other. My daughter, Stephanie was very close to her as well. She used to call Mary her "second Mom." We had many plans that summer. We were going to go on many trail rides, camp out, have dinners together, her family and mine. All of that came to a halt suddenly.

She had just been laid off from her job that day. She was upset and called me to tell me about it. She got a bum deal and was going to fight it but she never got the chance. She wasn't feeling well so she went home to take a nap. I called her about noon that day and woke her up. I told her I was just checking on her and to go back to sleep. She made dinner that evening for herself and her husband. For reasons unknown to anyone she decided to run into town for something. Dinner was ready and waiting at home, but she never made it home. Somehow she lost control of her Camry and ended up going off the side of the road down a fairly steep embankment and was thrown from the vehicle. Her equine vet's wife happened to be right behind her and came to her side. She was awake and knew what was going on. I think that is the hardest part to swallow. She didn't die a quick death, it was a long and painful one. She was airlifted to Vanderbilt in Nashville but she didnt make it.

I didn't know any of this had even occurred until I called that evening to check on her. Her husband answered the phone and said that Mary had been in a bad car accident and wasn't expected to make it and he had to go. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do or think. I told my husband, then my daughter overheard me. She got very upset as was I. The only think I could think to do was to call her brother in law. He didn't know anything yet but said he would let me know. When I finally went to bed that night I prayed and prayed for my Mary. I prayed that the Lord would let her live, but I also prayed for His will to be done because I knew in my heart that He had already decided her fate.

I went to work the next day and told my coworkers what had happened. The phone rang and it was my daughter. She was at school and someone had told her that Mary had not made it. She could barely get the words out she was so upset. I told her Dad would be there to pick her up and everything would be ok. I then called my husband to tell him so he would pick Steph up from school. I then called Mary's brother in law to confirm the facts. It was true. She had not made it. She was gone. That was when I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. My husband came to pick me up from work and the next few days were pretty much a blur.

My daughter and I visit her grave from time to time just to talk and see her. Her family put a nice monument with a horse and a dog etched on it. It is nice as far as monuments go. It gets easier as time goes on but every single time I mount a horse I think of Mary. I wonder what we would have done together. What fields and trails we would travel. How many caves we might discover in Illinois where we planned so many rides last summer. I know she is there with me and Stephanie in spirit and I also know that she is in Heaven and knowing Mary she is riding the most beautiful stallion God ever made.

Rest In Peace My Mary


Pam said...

I really felt that as I was reading. My dearest friend in the world-Penny- died some years back. When I meet new people that did not know us "together" I can not come up with the words to describe how much she meant to me. I think what still hurts the most is knowing that there will never be another person in this world who will love me like she did.

Bill said...

The cycle of life is impossible for us to understand. I do think our paths cross with others for a reason. Keep your memories close. You haven't lost a good friend; your paths have just diverged for a little while.

Scott W said...

Like I told you earlier today, you have come a great distance this past year and I am proud of you.

It is the circle of life. There can be no life with out death. That doesn't make it any easier, unfortunately. But it is something we must experience, and for those that go ahead of us, well all the more to greet us when we reach the other side.

Jen said...

I'm sorry you experienced the loss of your friend. It's nice that you still remember and visit her. One of my closest friends died of a heart attack in 2003. I still carry on conversations with him, imagining his humor-injected "dork" - as he called me, and the way he'd ruffle my hair.

Thanks for your comment on my site. :)

dAAve said...

Very tough indeed. There must be a reason.

Karen said...

What a beautiful tribute to your friend. I can't imagine the pain of losing a best friend. Your reunion will be a joyful one!

Anonymous said...

this is such a nice post in honor of your friend. it is good that you are passing her memory on, that's what keeps people alive even when their physical bodies are gone.

Lovn Livn said...

How sad! Do you suppose someone may have caused her to lose control and run off the road?