The past 2 days have not been fun days. Some of you know of my son and his addiction problem. For those that don't Ryan has been abusing prescription meds for about 4 years now. He will get off of them for a while then gets right back in and each time he starts again he seems to get to a lower point.
Wednesday evening he was brought into the ER after someone had beat him up big time. It just so happened that my daughter and her husband had taken Abby to the same ER because they thought a spider had bitten my precious on her belly. Come to find out Abby was fine, thank God, but while there she talked to Ann (my son Ryan's girlfriend) and was told that he had been beaten up and they wouldn't let anyone back to see him. Beth called Joe to tell him so we got dressed and went into town.
He looked pretty bad, both cheeks swollen up, black eyes starting to form, blood caked in his nose but thankfully nothing serious, just a fractured nose. We also found out by talking to the police officer that was there Ryan had a warrant out for failure to appear. This meant that as soon as the hospital released him he was headed straight for jail. The officer told us that if there was any way possible to come up with the $525 to bail him out it would be for the best. You see Ryan was so out of it from the head trauma and alcohol and pills he didn't know what he was saying. The officer said that if he went to jail that way some inmate would not put up with it and would, more than likely, break his jaw or even worse to get him to shut up. After taking all of this under consideration it was decided that the family would get the money and bail him out. Joe and I took him to our house, stopped at a 24hr Walgreens for a script of Tylenol 3 we got home about 12:30am.
Stephanie ended up going home with Beth because she can't be around her brother when he is like this. It upsets her too much. I was sure to get the bottle of pain meds and gave them to Joe. Ryan slept until 10:30 yesterday morning.
He ended up going to his girlfriend's house to stay but the entire ordeal was horrible. I won't get into details but just believe me when I say this. I am glad the last 2 days are over. For those of you with kids you understand that we as parents help our kids as much as we can. For those of you without kids someday you will probably understand what I am talking about. There is a love that parents have with their kids that is indescribable. Joe and I, Ryan's dad, Ryan's grandparents and his aunt and uncles have tried to help him. He appreciates nothing. He is so far into his addiction that all he lives for is the next fix. The next way to get, no matter how even if it involves stealing them, the pills that he lives for. We are done. We are completely through with the help. His dad is done. His grandparents are done. His aunt and uncles are done and I am sad. I am sad because I can't make him better. Yes I know that it isn't my fault, all of this is Ryan's choice but it is tough. As a mother I have always put my children before anything in this world. I no longer do that for Ryan. My serenity is more important. I have a 16 yr old daughter we are still raising. I have cancer treatments that I am dealing with, albeit that is curable.
Life goes on.......my son is back with his enabling girlfriend and her family, he will recover from his injuries, he will continue using but I know one thing for sure. That is that he will not interfere with my daily life any more. To some of you that might sound cold and heartless. Believe me it is just the opposite. I have to keep myself well both mentally and physically.
So that, my friends, is why I have not posted in a few days. I wish I could say it was because I had been swept off of my feet by my husband and taken on a cruise or to a tropical island or a nice trail ride. As it is the truth is I have an addict son. He is in my thoughts and definitely in my prayers. If you are inclined to do so please include him in your prayers.