A long time friend of mine and Joe's passed away this week from cancer. He was a very strong man. When someone like that is taken by cancer it really makes a person think. He was 68 years old and still working. He always said that if he retired he would probably die within a month. Ironic huh? He had pancreatic and liver cancer. The chemo proved to be too much for him.
I could not bring myself to go to the funeral home last night. It was at the same funeral home where my Mom, Dad and stepmother's funerals were held in 1999. It is also the same funeral home that my beloved friend Mary's was held. Plus I had a large X on the end of my nose. I was probably being selfish by not going to pay my respects but my emotions could not handle it. When Joe came home last night from the visitation he had picked up a bulletin or whatever you would call it with Harold's information on it. Also it contained a cowboy's prayer. Harold was a farmer and a horse lover. After reading the prayer I cried, a lot. Joe said the funeral home was packed. Harold was loved my many and will be sorely missed.
When Joe got home he told me that he thought that if Harold had it to do over he would opt to not take the treatments. He also said that if he was told he had cancer he would not take treatments. Even if he had the same cancer as me. I know that seeing such a strong man being taken to his knees and then death in a matter of days has a strong impact. What Joe said about my cancer upset me a bit. But I realized it was just his way of trying to deal with what 'could' happen.
We never know when or why something like this might happen to us or a loved one. It is a frightening thought for sure but that is life. Death is a part of life.