Monday, January 5, 2009

In with 2009!

Today is a good day. Today at 2pm my son Ryan, will enter Lifeline Ministries. It can be the first day of the rest of his life.

Many many prayers have been answered today. Ryan has no idea just how many people have been praying for and will continue to pray for him and his recovery. He wanted to see me before he went in, he also wanted to see Annie before today but he didn't. If he had his truck licensed and insured he could have come out to see us but as it is I would have had to have taken Annie into town on a nasty day yesterday and I didn't think that was fair to Annie. Or me. I have been trying to take care of myself lately and have not allowed him to draw me into his illness and drug filled world. That might sound harsh but it is what it is. He has done this to himself and our family. He has to get the help that he needs in order to take care of himself. I have to do what I have to do to take care of myself and my family. Period. I know that he does not understand why I have done what I have done and continue to do. My hope is that someday he will understand.

So today is a hopeful day. A day in which dreams can start if even in the smallest of ways. I will continue to pray for Ryan every day. I look forward to the day I can look at him and hear a clear voice, a voice that is proud. A voice that is wiser. A voice that is sober.

One Day at a Time


fernvalley01 said...

Good News!
You are a strong person to ever do the right thing for your son and family,people often give in just stop the angst, when he is well he should realize the amazing mom he has!
Keeping you and your family in my prayers

Syd said...

I hope that Ryan will find the peace that he really wants. I hope that he is strong and is willing to learn and listen. Recovery can bring happiness to him and to those around him. Stay true to you. It's up to Ryan and God now.

MichelleSG said...

Much hope to you and your family. And prayers! Today is a good day, it's the start of something wonderful and lets hope that it continues!

Karen said...

When I was going through a difficult time with one of my kids, a friend told me, "It's God's job to help him through now. You just need to keep loving him like only a mom can." I think you're doing a great job of loving him. This hasn't been easy for you. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Jen said...

A new day and a new year friend. This could be it. I'll say a prayer for Ryan and for your heart....momma's have to be tough sometimes and it breaks us at the same time.

Lou said...

You are way ahead of where I was in dealing with the issues. You are doing just fine, I'm happy for you & Ryan.

Dan and Betty Cooksey said...

When our oldest son (39 years old) was a toddler, he broke my wife's nose (long story). I took her to the Naval hospital as we were in the Navy then. The ENT doctor was on duty and saw her right away. He said that he needed to set her nose which meant literally re-breaking it as he said nose cartilege begins to set immediately after the break. It was a trying time for both of us as he literally used all his strength to re-break her nose so he could set it properly - her nose is actually straighter as a result.

Sometimes, when we're broken, God has to break us again so we can be reset into the image He designed us to be.

You're doing the right thing. Keep praying and rest easy. It's up to your son, but there is hope.


Scott W said...

You make me a proud brother.

dAAve said...

Just keep doing what you're doing.

Laura said...

Will be praying for Ryan as he enters this program. As Pam's blog says, it will sometimes be exhaustive work and sometimes through grace. I love that. I pray he sticks and stays.

He will find out, if he does, just why you've set the boundaries you have. The truth of his disease will be revealed to him in new ways.

Happy New Year.

Chef said...

We're hoping for that too. It's probably a good thing for him too that you're keeping your distance. He will be so proud to show up at your door, sober and well.