Ryan has gone to his dad's house. At least for a few hours. Tonight and tomorrow he will spend what is supposed to be his last day in jail. He received a DUI a few weeks ago and since this was the 2nd within 5 years he had to serve a certain number of days in jail.
Joe took Steph to school this morning and when he returned home he could tell that something had been cooked. He didn't think anything of it and sat down in his room to watch the morning news. Annie kept sniffing and smelling something in the bathroom trash can. Finally Joe got up to see what she was making such a fuss about. It was some chicken strips, still warm. Apparently Ryan had heated some up in the oven but freaked out when Joe came in the door and threw them in the trash. I don't get it. We never care if he eats or even how much he eats when he is over. I would be pleased if he grazed all day as long as he was full because that makes me feel better to know he isn't hungry. It's just one more thing for me to NOT worry about concerning him.
Joe took the trash can into the living room where he was and held it up with a question mark on his face. All Ryan did was drop his head. What would make him feel ashamed to eat or better yet, what would possess him to try to hide food from his step dad?
He told me yesterday (called me at work) that his room mate has kicked him out and he has no place to go. He is once again just where he was 5 months ago. No where to live and presently not working. The working is through no fault of his own, his boss is having some issues and isn't working them currently. Hopefully that will change soon.
I assume his dad will take him to the jail this evening at 6pm. I don't know if he will pick him up tomorrow at 6pm. I don't know where he will go or what he will do. I do know that I will turn this over to God every day. It is all I can do. I can't help him, I can't fix him, I can't make it better. All I can do is pray. And take care of my sanity.
The drugs and alcohol have changed him. Made him a person that I don't know. He is so completely lost. Like a small child in a 27 yr old body. I keep praying that he will find his way to help. That somehow he will be OK.
Yes, my heart is broken. Tears are welling up in my eyes. I feel so helpless.