Joe told me last night that he thinks Ryan will call me today. I don't think so. Even if he does I don't think I will answer the phone. I need to put distance between myself and him. Is that wrong? I don't think so. He has been given so many chances by so many people and the illness keeps winning. I hate the illness. I hate the addiction that he has. I hate the addiction that so many people have. But it is what it is and I have to take care of myself first. I have given my all to him and he has gobbled it up every time.
Joe got an old bicycle out of the garage last night for me. He aired up the tires cause I am going to start riding it. I was going to ride last night but the storms came through instead. I will start off easy and work my way up and eventually be able to ride as long as I like. I am excited about this. I have not been on a regular exercise program in years. It will help me physically and emotionally. Nothing like a good ole sweat to get the blood a'pumping.
As I walked out of my door this morning and turned to lock it I was so grateful. Grateful for where I live. That I own a house with a little land for my pups to run and my horses to graze. A pond to fish in or just look at. Beautiful scenery no matter where I look. It was a good feeling. I am a lucky girl.