Monday, March 9, 2009

Whew! What a weekend

I must say I am glad it is Monday. The weekend was pretty much a blur. The memorial service Saturday was one of the strangest things I have ever attended. We arrived and went in. My sister-in-law was up front by the urn and a lot of pictures of her son. We went up and offered our condolences and hugged Sissy and her daughter, Tonya. We looked at the many pictures and after a few minutes found our seats by where my other sister-in-laws were.

There was an obvious division in the room immediately. There was the "wife's" side and the "husband's" side. The wife looked so poorly. She had lost a lot of weight due to her injuries of which she is not even close to be recovered. In fact, I found out that she had to go back in the hospital for more treatment and had only been out of Vanderbilt one week. The day was taking an obvious toll on her mentally and physically. I could not figure out why the service was scheduled for 3 hours. There were young boys and a still recovering shotgun victim who would have been the ones being greeted and such. As it was Ammee was barely to sit on a pew and many times had to prop up with a pillow.

There was no one that spoke AT ALL. We were told there would not be a minister but that friends would speak and give a eulogy. We kept waiting and waiting but no one even attempted to go up front to the microphone. It was all very odd. Ammee did say at one point to "our" side of the room that if anyone had any memories or anything they wanted to say on Jackie's behalf to feel free to do so. No one did.

My nephew's father paused in the aisle right by where we were all sitting and said "everyone is intimated and doesn't want to speak." Huh? Are you talking to us? A few minutes later some of us decided to get some fresh air. We all noticed everyone looking at us. Then, inside, Ammee went over to my brother-in-law and asked if we were leaving. It was at that time we all realized the "other" side of the room had been waiting on us to leave. We did, but I felt so sorry for my sister-in-law. She did get to say her goodbyes but the entire affair was so very lacking. My other brother-in-law wanted to offer a prayer and say just a short quote from the Bible but that would not be heard of.

We went to the home of my sister-in-law's boyfriend for BBQ and the works. After we got there and started to relax things got a lot better.

Joe and I got home about 7pm. Stephanie had swept and mopped the entire living room and kitchen. She had cleaned the mini blinds and also cleaned the baseboards. What a nice thing to come home to. She's a keeper, that's for sure.

8 comments:

Bill said...

How painful. The entire situation is difficult. You guys did the right thing by showing up. I'm glad you're back home safe & sound.

Lou said...

Well they say the funeral is for the living, but in this case it sounds like more trauma. Reminds me to preplan my cremation, and have an immediate family only service.

Scott W said...

Send Stephanie to Houston, I have some cleaning she can do.

Trailboss said...

So, I am sure it was a once in a lifetime event. She must have been pretty darned bored huh?

Dan and Betty Cooksey said...

That was strange, but family dynamics can really be strange - particularly in the stress of a memorial.

Good for Stephanie.

Dan

Jen said...

Stephanie....wow...great gal she is to do that for you....

Syd said...

It doesn't sound like there was much thought about the deceased. I don't like funerals. Another reason for me not to go.

Dusty Devoe said...

How sad to attend a funeral like that. People do the strangest things sometimes. Hugs!