Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It's tough to let go

My precious daughter's heart is heavy. Her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with her just before school was out this year. She was able to pick herself up and graduate. She had fun at Project Graduation and is proud that she has graduated high school. Glad that part is behind her.

She has been doing a pretty good job of dealing with the loss of what she thought was to be her future husband. Her entire world has had the bottom ripped right out from under her feet. Where she goes from here is up to her. But she has the rest of her life to live. She posted on her Facebook site last night that she is ready to live life to the fullest. I hope she is.

I can't help being reminded of being her age and thinking I had my future figured out. I was after all, over my high school boyfriend and dating a new guy. We had a bright future ahead of us and of course we would get married. It's just what everyone did right? WRONG!! It didn't work out even though we dated over 2 years. After a small stint of living and working in Chicago he kicked me to the curb. He found someone else and was done with me. It was a horrible feeling. I didn't know what do do. I didn't know where to go. Unlike Stephanie I had already moved out of my mother's house and out of town. What ever was I to do? Thank goodness I was able to call my beloved brother So who had previously moved to Houston of the same year that I moved to Chicago. I can still remember that Friday. I went to the corner phone booth in downtown Chicago and put my coins in and called him to tell him what was going on. I was so upset. I was in so much pain. My world had been rocked. So calmly told me what I was going to do. Move to Houston with him.

That is what I did. On October 16, 1977 I arrived in Houston on an airplane after a small stay with Mom here in Kentucky. I never looked back on my decision. I was and am so grateful to have had So to lean on. We lived together for 3 yrs in Houston and they were some of the best years of my life. Literally. I was able to grow up so much, learn so much not only about myself but others. How to treat other people. How to pretty much be an adult.

Stephanie has the best Dad in the world. His genes might not be in hers but he is her Dad. She and Joe have such a great relationship. They have a closeness that is rare to see, at least in my experience. She can talk to him about anything. Literally anything. She is more comfortable talking to him that me. Which is ok by me. As long as she is able to talk to someone. She thinks I don't understand and that's ok. She can think that all she wants. I tend to be the Mother from Hell when someone messes with my kids' feelings. Joe seems to be able to keep his head on straight a little better than me. My fangs and nails come out and I am ready to rip someone apart in a heartbeat whereas Joe is able to sit and calmly listen and give good advise. It is a good relationship. It is a healthy relationship.

Growing up is so hard. The life lessons we learn along the way can hurt to the very core of our being but somehow we get through them and if we are lucky, we are stronger and better because of them. I pray every night for all of my family and loved ones. Steph has had a special place in my prayers the last few weeks. Her heart is pure and she deserves to be happy. I am a lucky woman to be able to witness such a beautiful soul learn to go on. To make it through what seems like the most horrible situation with her head held high. It will take a while for her to get all of the way there but I truly do think that she is well on her way.

I'm ready to put my fangs and nails up for a while.


Syd said...

Young love is tough. It is a time of upheaval. Neither the man or the woman really have matured. Maybe this is a blessing so that Steph can move on to do things with her life before settling down. She is so young and has the world before her.

Dan and Betty Cooksey said...

Nice post. Unfortunately it won't be the last hurt in her life. I've learned that the reason we hurt so much is because we love so much. I don't want to give up loving just because I'll be hurt at some point.


MichelleSG said...

She's better off this way. Seriously. She's not going to see that right now but in the end, even if she never does see it, she's better off.

Jen said...

Tell her I said...Dont cry because its over..smile because it happened.....

Hula Girl at Heart said...

We've had boyfriend drama, too. I finally put my fangs away a couple of weeks ago when I remembered that suffering these things now will help her to find a healthy long lasting relationship later on. It's tough, though. We mamas just want to protect our babies and watching them hurt is painful.