Life will never be the same

It is with a heavy heart that I write this.  Most of you know who Joe is.  He is my X-Husband and I have written about him many many times on this blog.  We had so many good years together.  I truly wouldn't change a thing, except the way it ended.


Joe, after fighting a fierce battle with cancer succumbed to this awful disease last week.  On June 27th at 3:30am he told his nurse "I'm going now."  And with that he took his last breathe. I have been blessed to have been kept abreast of his fight through my sweet step-daughter Bethany.  Abby's mommy.  Abby and her sister Leah are grieving of course just like the rest of the grandkids.  Indeed life will never be the same.




About 6 months ago Joe found out that he had lung cancer.  He went through radiation treatments here in our local town which did indeed shrink the size of the tumor.  He decided to travel to Ohio where his oldest daughter lives, Amy, for his chemotherapy.  He had what I can only believe to be an excellent oncologist that did everything possible to rid him of this horrid disease.  Apparently Joe wasn't doing well with the Chemo treatments and decided for whatever reason to stop them.  Alas the cancer spread to just about every organ in his body.  He was in a great deal of pain.  The doctors did their best to control it but that kind of pain just can't be controlled.  


Joe was indeed my best friend for many years.  Unfortunately we had not kept in touch for the past few years.  It was not healthy for either one of us.  But he was never far from my thoughts.  He and his family were always in my prayers, especially lately.


I like so many others that he knew will miss him.  I will miss his humor, his giving heart.  The jokes that he played on others.  That was a big thing with him.....always the joker.  But on a serious note Joe was my best friend for many years.  I have missed him these past 8 years since we divorced but I guess just knowing that he was there....somewhere made me feel better.  Now that he is gone I feel lost.  I know his girls and grandkids are going to miss him forever, just like me. 


As Amy said, she now has the best guardian angel that a daughter can have.  This world has lost a caring and loving soul but Heaven sure did gain an angel. 


Until we see each other again Joe, I love you.  I never stopped loving you.  I know I'll see you again.  When I get there I hope that you, Mom, Dad, Linda, Annie & Sophie will be there to meet me. 


I don't plan on ever writing on this blog again after this post.  I have enjoyed it over the years but everything has a time to stop.  This is the time.  Take care of yourselves my friends and smile even if you don't feel like smiling.  It makes the world a better place.

My life now.

Wow.  So many things have changed in my life.  The past couple of weeks have been pretty tough but my girls and my grandson help me every day.  My daughter and son are doing wonderful!  As a matter of fact my son is ENGAGED!  I never thought that would happen but it has.  I love my future daughter-in-law.  They really are the 'perfect' couple.

My grandson turned a year old last month and he is a busy boy.  He isn't walking yet but isn't far from it.  All I can say is good luck to Steph when he is.  Talk about being everywhere!

Sophie is doing well on her pain meds and Pattykins is spoiled rotten......just like I want her to be.

I hope everyone in the blogging world is doing well.  I haven't posted anything in a long time and I miss it.  But, since my X-husband can get on here I have stayed away from it.  I love you guys and hope to post more often.

Good news

Pertaining to my previous post my daughter is just fine. I was afraid I had taken it too far and that she would 'take' his side but I am proud to say that she isn't. She's a much better person than that.

Today was yet another very busy day at work. But I'm not complaining. I'm proud to be gainfully employed. From what I have been told from my customer thinks are going to get really busy by the end of the year. YAY!!!!!!

I am so glad it is Friday and I look forward to a weekend full of family and love. My son and his precious girlfriend will come over Sunday. Meanwhile there is my wonderful grandson that I can love on and play with whenever I want. Well, except during nap time!

I managed to mow my entire yard yesterday and I am SO glad I did. Now I won't have to worry with it. I am loving my new Snapper by the way. I'm still adjusting to going from a 54" deck to a 30" but so far so good.

It got bad

I have it out with my daughter's father for the past 2 days. I have called him out on so many things that he did to my kids. He of course said it was all my fault. Imagine that. He even went to far to call my cellphone and leave the nastiest message full of GD and numerous other curse words. I won't get into what has had done to my kids but let me tell you it is NOT good.

Now I feel that Steph is taking his side even though he is the one that took back his drug addict wife. The last I heard he was filing for divorce. I guess he just can't live without that hoo-hoo. It's whatever to me because I couldn't give a crap less about any of the bunch. But I know that my daughter does. She and I got into it big time last night. All I can say is that she can do what she wants. She is an adult and if she decides to move it so be it. But if her father gets around Cameron that IS where I will step in.

I have had the most horrible day at work, so busy trying to learn another job and so many trucks coming in that I could barely keep up. I am stressed to the max and I don't know what to do about it. I know what I am going to do when I get home however. Me and my girls will be in my room and I don't want to talk to anyone. I have so much on me right now and it's about to wear me down. But I am a strong woman and I refuse to give in.

But alas, tomorrow is another day.

I'm wiping my brow today

Last night was a doozy. Remnants from Hurricane Isaac spawned tornadoes way too close for comfort. We were glued to the tv hoping and praying that we would be spared and we were. We got some much needed rain out of it however.

Meanwhile life is good. My grandson is healthy and growing so fast! Steph has started him on vegetables and he is loving them! He makes my world so much brighter!

Missing him though.

Stephanie and her family took a road trip last week. I have really enjoyed the 'me' time but I sure do miss my grandson. Thank goodness they are on their way home!

As usual work is busy busy. I don't mind though. I'd rather be busy than looking for something to do. Today was a doozy! Thank goodness I have figured out a way to do some of the computer work faster. In fact my customer's main guy wants to get with me next week because everyone at the tire plant is struggling to get it all done. It feels good to still have it in me to do my job well.

My girls are doing great. Sophie is on some new meds to help with her arthritis and it seems to be working. I am so thankful for that! Life for me just gets better and better every day!

Cameron!

Just wanted to remind everyone in the entire world that my grandson makes me the happiest grandmother in the world!!!!

Shoot, gotta get to work now. More later.

Awwwww finally Friday!

Our area has been in a severe drought for way too long now. Farmers are losing their crops, pastures are dying, cattle farmers are having to sell their cattle because they can't feed them. I'm sure you have all heard about it on the news. It hasn't seemed to effect my yard however. I still have to mow every weekend! But I don't mind mowing, in fact I really enjoy it. Especially on my handy dandy Snapper riding mower.

I had a blast the other night with my precious grandson. We got into a laughing contest and I don't know which one of us liked it better. It was the first time for me. Of course he has laughed with his Mom several times but she is with him all day. He is growing so much. He is up to 14lbs now and still eating like a horse. I have to say that he makes me so happy. Babies have a way of doing that don't they?

I have some other excellent things going on in my life now that are making me so very happy. I am happy to report that life just keeps getting better and better. Being single is nice. It's been a long time for me!

Work is going very well. Challenging but going well. They are making some changes and of course with changes always come bugs and challenges. But I love a good challenge. It is how I work best. I am proud to be grainfully employed at a job that I love.

Life today

My life has never been better than it is now. I have a wonderful family, a new grandson and some much needed friends, I don't miss my life before. I wasted enough time on someone who in the end didn't deserve me. I love my new house and most of all the 10 minute or so commute. Sure is better than driving over 40 miles per day just to get to work.

Speaking of work things are going great! I love my job and that isn't what a lot of ppl can say. I work with great people and I am proud to be gainfully employed.

I'm going to need to mow tomorrow but I don't mind at all. I love mowing. Especially with my new Snapper! My son refuses to show mw how to wee eat. He insists that he will do it. Gotta love a man like that.

Speaking of my son he is clean and sober and has been for months now and is happily in love with a wonderful young lady!

Good things happening!

There are some very special things happening in my life right now. I want to get into details but now is not the time. I will only say that it totally fulfills my life now.

Cameron is growing so fast! Steph had to change his formula recently due to spitting up too much. Now I am stuck with 2 cans of the original formula and it apparently can't be even exchanged due to the fact that formula is on WIC. I paid for this out of my pocket and for those of you that it has been a while formula has NOT gone down in price. Hopefully Steph can exchange it at the Health Dept next week.

I am on the hunt for another lawnmower. I don't like the one I bought recently. Plus the brakes don't work so that is a large bummer. Since Matt isn't here to fix them I am hoping to find a good used one in town. Geez, I must be hard to please because this is the 2nd lawnmower I have bought and didn't like either one of them! I'm sure it will work out though.

I have been going to the chiropractor for this stinking back of mine and so far all it does is relax me. It has not relieved the pain at all. ****sigh****

But as my life continues to get better every day I am not going to complain. I choose to look on the positive side. Now, if I could just win that lottery things would be really good!

Memorial Day

I visited my parents graves yesterday. I put a flag on my dad's and thanked him for his service to our country. I talked to him and to Mom, along with my aunt and uncle and grandparents who are also buried there. I shed many tears and even after almost 13 yrs the pain never goes away. It gets better but it still hurts to not have them here with me.

My dad was a medic on the front line of WWII and never wanted to talk about the war. I was always curious but once he told me "I don't want to talk about seeing my best friends blown up beside me" I quickly stopped asking about it and never mentioned it again. There is no telling what he saw. There is no telling what all of them saw and continue to see now overseas. I shutter to think of it.

After that Steph, Cameron and I drove past our old house. OMG, the yard looked horrible. There were weeds growing in the yard like I never saw when I lived there. The pond is in horrid condition and the wonderful pastures were overgrown to the point that if I were standing in them you wouldn't be able to see me. I was so disappointed. It's not like the guy who bought the house can't afford to hire someone to take care of these things. He is a local dentist who does quite well. I don't understand it. I told Steph that I wished we hadn't even gone by there. She agreed. I wanted to pull all the way into the driveway but didn't go past the entrance by the pond.

We came on back to the house after that and settled in for the evening. We had a nice 3 day weekend together. After all, that is truly what matters. Family being together.

Pattykins loves Cameron!

Yes, I realize I posted the same picture twice but I don't care. OMG, I love these 3 (plus Sophie) SO much!!!

Awww a 3 day weekend!

I have so enjoyed this weekend. I will enjoy tomorrow too! I am going to go pick up my son and he is going to mow and weed-eat my yard. First though he will get his resume updated. He is having a hard time finding a job. There are a lot of ppl just like him. Jobs are scarce around here.

Oh and did I mention how much I love being a grandma?

I'm gonna try!

To get some pictures of my grandson on here this weekend. It seems I never have enough time in the day to get much of anything done except the essentials. With this weekend being Mother's Day I plan on trying to take as much time to get a few things done.

I did get rid of that horrid pickup truck that I bought last year. I thought I would love driving a truck but I was wrong. It was too small and I just simply am not a truck girl.

Time to get to work!

He was crying

Cameron that is. His mommy and daddy were so tired that they moved into the guest room sometime during the night. When I let the girls out this morning I heard him starting to get restless so I hurried up and got ready for work and scooped him up. He needed a butt change and was a tad bit hungry. I think he mostly wanted that dirty diaper off. Can't say that I blame him.

After that all he wanted to do was go back to sleep so I was glad to oblige. He was sleeping soundly when I left for work. Naturally he has his days and nights mixed up as all newborns do. It is tough on Steph but she is doing ok. I was glad to be able to give her a couple more hours sleep this morning. Goodness knows she needs it!

My son got a job! Bless his heart, he has been looking and looking and has had no luck. It is a part time only but he is looking for another part time too. Jobs are very scarce around these parts so anyone who is employed count your blessings. I know I do. I am very proud of him though. He has continued to be sober for months now even though his own father has been around him the past few days (he has fallen off of the wagon). Ryan finally told his dad that he had to leave his apartment. He was afraid he would either get into a fight or be too tempted to drink in order to deal with his dad. Pretty sad situation when a parent is at their kid's house and acting that way. I was proud that Ryan stood up to his dad and told him he wouldn't allow him to talk to him that way in his own house. Then he made him leave just like I made him (his father) leave my house last Saturday. I won't put up with that behavior and Ryan won't either.

It is hump day and that makes me happy. Plus this Saturday is the Kentucky Derby! I never miss watching the Derby. Looking forward to the weekend!

An Excellet Weekend it was!

I have had such a great weekend. Being able to spend quality time with my grandson has been wonderful. During the work week I am so tired and brain-dead when I get home it is nice to get some rest and have him as much as I want!

I bought a used mower the other day and it seems to be a decent one. We ventured to Walmart for a new battery for it today and it is running well. It is all I need for now.

Supper is in the oven, Steph and her beau ran back to get a bomb to take care of the spiders in my shed out back. That black widow WILL die tonight!

This weekend has been one that I won't soon forget. A couple of things happened in my personal life, one really uncomfortable and the other one a dream come true. I think the worst is over and there are only good things to come in my life. Goodness knows it has been a while!

Oh So Ready!

For the weekend that it. This has been a looooong work week and I am ready for a couple of days off. Cameron has been a pretty good boy, keeping his momma up at night and sleeping during the day. I have to say that young man is a handsome little fellow.

I hope to get the house cleaned up this weekend while Steph and her family are visiting family. It is driving me crazy! I haven't been able to run the vacuum because of Cameron and the fact it is so loud so that needs to be done. Plus there are boxes that I need to go through and see what I want to keep and what I don't need. I am tired of my den being so cluttered. I made a dent in it a couple of weeks ago but since Cameron has been born the rest has gone by the wayside.

It looks like Cameron's daddy will be starting his new job a week from Monday. He is happy about it but still weighing his options at other places. We'll see. It will all work out. That's what I keep telling him anyway.

The girls are doing well. They are a bit confused as to why this little 'thing' gets all of Steph's attention but they are adjusting well. I keep them in my room with me some and love on them so they know they are not forgotten.

Well, time to get to work. Take care everyone!

Such a doll!

Aw yes. Pattykins does not know what to think about this precious bundle of joy. She gets so silly when we show Cameron to her. I am sure that she is confused. After all, she has been guarding him while Steph was pregnant forever. Anytime anyone would try and rub on her stomach or talk to Cameron before he was born she would literally put herself between whoever was doing it and Steph's stomach. Such cuteness!

The weekend was good, Cameron is a typical newborn and keeping his momma up a lot. But considering he is only a little over a week old he is doing well. He really enjoyed his bath last night. I'm sure the warm water felt good. We've had a bit of a cool snap in my neck of the woods the past few days.

His daddy managed to get the yard mowed yesterday. It was driving him crazy so he borrowed the neighbor's push mower. I have found a mower that I might buy, just waiting on the guy to let me know it is ready and then I will go and check it out. I hated the new one I bought so I took it back and got my money back. If nothing else I will splurge and get the one that I want.

Meanwhile work continues to be busy which is good. I have said it many times, I would much rather be busy than have nothing to do. I would give anything for some vacation time now to be home with my grandson but I'll have to wait. I have used all of my vacation time to have various medical items completed for me. It'll be nice to finally have some time to just relax and not have tons of stuff to do.

I see what happens.  I have not posted in a few days and now everything has changed.  You'd thing Blogger would give us a choice as to whether we wanted to go with this new format or not.  I think I know what I would have decided.  Grrrrrrr.....now I will have to learn a new way to do everything.  I was all ready to post pics of my precious grandson.  Now I have to figure all this new stuff out.  I's all good though.  I'll get it done!

Welcome to the world

My world will never be the same. Thank you Stephanie for giving me the biggest joy in the world.