I'm trying

To be mature about something. My X-stepdaughter who lives in Ohio left a very rude comment on my blog last week which has caused me to make some changes on who & who cannot read or comment in my blog. I started to just start another one but decided that I wasn't going to let her win. It seems that she gets pleasure from being rude & I'm not going to put up with it.

I have accepted the fact that I will not be able to be a part of my grandaughter's lives and just have to move on. It is a sad situation but one that I have no control over so I'll just leave it alone. It is a relief to know that I don't ever have to be a part of her or her dad's life again. Sad, but a relief.

Steph & I finally saw Breaking Dawn yesterday. Afterwards we went to one of our favorite chinese restaurants. The movie was awesome and we had a really good day.

I had my first appt. at Pain Mgmt this week. The dr there wants to do what he calls an epidural on my back. This will involve a series of shots that hopefully will block the pain from this back problem. The problem is that I can't have it done until January. But at least it's a start. Meanwhile I continue to take this way too strong pain medicine which I hate. I don't like my thinking clouded like it has been lately but what do you do? I'll heed the dr's advise and do what I can until then.

I have been sitting here paying bills online and suddenly I feel broke! Dang things do add up don't they? I think it's time to get on that heating pad for a while.

Monday Monday

It always comes doesn't it? I was so busy at work the day flew by. That is always nice when that happens. Stephanie made some delicious stir-fry for dinner. She is really becoming quite a good cook. Of course anything I don't have to make is just fine by me.

I love living so close to work. My fuel bill loves it even better! We live in a nice neighborhood, nothing fancy mind you but I like it. The house is laid out well and I am grateful to have found it.

Since the backyard has been fenced the girls have had a ball! That makes me happy. I am going to have to take my Sophie to the vet soon. Her back leg is getting worse & the meds aren't helping like they first did. She gets her exercise daily but not all of that running like at the other house. Speaking of the other house I don't miss it anymore. I am so proud to have MY house that I own. I don't have to deal with anyone else & what they want. Plus my house stays clean, unlike the other house. My X rarely cleaned. He was too busy lying on his bed & watching tv. But no worries about that anymore. It is quite a relief. It sure did get old to work all day long just to come home to a dirty house.

I am anxious to go to my appt. at Pain Mgmt soon. I hope they can give me shots for this ruptured disk in my back. Then I won't be able to feel the pain for a few weeks or months. I am tired of taking pain meds, especially when I work full time. They cloud my thinking and I don't like that. Wish me luck!

Sunday, a day to relax

Or at least it is supposed to be. I way too much to do for any slowing down. The new furniture did get here and it looks great! I have enjoyed my chair and a half a lot. The girls have enjoyed as much if not more than me!

Peace and Serenity is all I want

But I can't seem to get it until I completely rid myself of my former husband. He has texted me from a strip club offering to buy me a drink, told no telling how many lies to my stepdaughters so that I am sure that I will never see my Abby and Leah again, much less the Ohio grandkids. All I can do is feel sorry for him. He is one of those people that want other people to be as miserable as he is.

It saddens me so much to know that I won't be able to see my Abby and Leah grow up. I love them so much. But one thing I do know is that no one can take away the memories I have of them, especially my Abby. We were so close for so long. I miss her every day and was just starting to get to know Leah when all of this happened. But life goes on and I can't control other's actions. I just hope and pray that someday I can see my grandkids again. God's will be done.

He has found out where I live also. Whatever. If he comes close to Stephanie he will be arrested. That is court ordered. The best thing I can do is let it all go and move forward from here. Isn't it sad though? I loved this man for 17 years. I put up with his lies and cheating (not cheating with other women, just being dishonest) for way too long. I realize now that he never really deserved me. We did have some good years, I don't want to take away from that. But in the end the innocent ones (me and my daughter) suffer because of him. Sorry folks. I don't usually have negative posts on here but I just felt the need to vent. You guys that have followed me for years know how much I loved him and my grandkids. It is sad that kids have to be drug through such ignorance. But that is out of my control. I will always be there for my stepdaughters and their families because I love them all. There are no telling what lies have been told to them to change their minds about me. But I can't worry about that.

Finally!

I finally have internet access at home. The Comcast man just left and it looks like we are all fixed up! Now I need to get used to using a laptop. I'm sure it will get easier, I'm just used to a desktop both at home and work.

We finally got our new furniture yesterday and I must say that the living room looks great. have spent quite a bit of quality time in my chair & 1/2 with my girls. I think they love it more than me!

Now I am off to catch up on the blogs that I haven't been able to read in a long time.

TGIF! and Daddy's Birthday!

My wonderful father's birthday is today. Don't ask me how old he would be because I'm not sure. Actually I think he would be 89, I'm sure that So will correct me if I am wrong on that item. I miss him terribly as his death was the one that really hit me hard during that 6 months in 1999 when we lost our stepmother Linda, Mom and then Dad. How I ever got through that time only God knows.

My new furniture is finally being delivered tomorrow! Can I get an amen? It's only been a FULL 8 WEEKS since I ordered it. I can't wait to finally have the living room as an actual room and not just a place for things that I haven't put where they belong yet. The den is furnished but I just can't get comfy on that furniture. It sure will make a wonderful play room for my new grandbaby though!

Speaking of my new grandbaby I just can't wait until that little whippersnapper is born and I can get my hands on him/her. Steph has been having some morning sickness lately which is a real bummer. I thought that was supposed to be in the first trimester but what do I know? I was lucky and never had it. She is doing ok though and understands that it is just part of a baby in the oven.

Work continues to be steady which is good. Things have been getting a little smoother in my private life but I do have days/nights that I can't help thinking about things. I try to not dwell on that and look toward the future. After all, I am only hurting myself if I don't.

My X-brother in law passed away on Tuesday. He has been sick for a long time with heart problems and honestly I think he lived a lot longer than anyone expected. Joe found him after he had passed away which had to be a most traumatic thing. I can't imagine what that was like. It seems he had passed several hours before he was found. But he did get to see his beloved St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series and I know that made him happy. I can only hope and pray that he is at peace now.

I should have internet at home this Sunday. YEA!!! I have missed it a great deal. My desktop computer is fried as far as internet access and I am thinking of just going completely wireless. I already have a laptop and I was looking online at prices and I think they are as cheap or maybe cheaper than a desktop. What do yall think? I love the fact that I could be anywhere around the house and access the internet in a moment's notice. I just think that is pretty dadgum cool!

Well that was just a large bummer

Hey guys and gals.....wanna know how many trick or treaters we had last night? ZERO! Yet again I apparently live in a neighborhood where trick or treaters just don't, well, just don't trick or treat. Now we are stuck with all of that candy. That wonderful candy that I can't seem to get enough of. Actually I brought some to work w/me yesterday and quickly learned that I have no control when there are Reese's cups at my fingertips. I grabbed them, threw them in my purse and emptied them into the lonely Halloween candy bowl at home. Now the trick will be to stay away from the living room where the evil candy is lurking, crying softly to me "eat me......I am sooooo good.......it's ok, no calories if no one sees you eat it" and all of those lies that good candy does.

I finally broke down and ordered internet at home. It will be installed tomorrow and I just couldn't be happier! I have really missed it. I actually lasted longer than I thought I would not having it! But I got a pretty good 2 yr deal so I am a happy camper.

Next will be the new furniture which should be delivered this week. I can't wait for that. The den is fully furnished but I am longing for the chair and a half along with the large ottoman that comes with it. My girls will be able to be in my lap at the same time w/o stepping all over me and each other!! Not to mention we all need to get out of our respective rooms and be a family, at least for a while! Since we all have such different tastes in television programs I'm sure I will be in there alone quite a bit (except for my girls) but that's ok. I will still enjoy my Archie Bunker recliner in my bedroom too! It is so old and ugly but it is soooooooo comfortable! It fits me like a glove so it is here to stay, that's for sure.

We have had some really decent weather here this week. It is supposed to turn fairly cold toward the latter part of the week but meanwhile I have tried to enjoy as much time outside with my girls as possible. They just love running and playing in the backyard. Nothing warms me more than to see my babies having fun like they used to when we lived in the country. That darned neighbor cat still comes around but I think that he has learned he had best stay outside of the fence unless he wants to be treed again. I am sure that he could take care of himself even if both girls were out there but I would feel so bad if something were to happen to him because of my dogs. But cat claws usually win in the long run!

Work continues to be busy busy busy. Home life is good. I am happy to be divorced, as hard as it has all been, but it is for the best. He can go his way and I will go mine. He texted me from a "gentleman's club" the other night wanting to buy me a drink. I think he was kidding (how tacky huh) but who knows. Actually, who cares? Not me! He is free to do whatever he wants. We still have a couple of issues to work out. He has not returned my father's pistol claiming that he sold it. Not a good thing. I can only hope that he was not telling the truth because I really don't want to get nasty with this. But right is right and I refuse to be walked on or taken advantage of by him or anyone else for that matter.

Well, enough of that kind of talk. Time to get back to work so yall take care and drop by and say howdy once in a while!